Me and Drakes first date
- And that's when I said first of all Barack, I'm mixed, but enough about me. I wanna know about you. *boops my nose*
- Well, I do not like the beach because I do not like sand or crustaceans but I do personally feel very connected to the ocean. I actually feel as if I may be mixed with mermaid.
- That's so interesting. You are such a well rounded individual. Please, tell me more about you.
- I am very afraid of the dark.
- A few years back I read a passage that said something like "You're not afraid of the dark, you're afraid of what is inside of the dark." I just thought that was so beautiful.
- ... Are you getting smart with me?
- Not at all I ju-
- *loudly* Please do not come for me Mr. Graham I know what the hale I'm scared of!
- ... that was extremely arousing and I'd like to take you home if that's okay with you.
- You pickin up the tab?
- *puts the basket of rolls in my bag* Get the check.
Real friendship is when you’re playing Mario Kart with your friend and you get a blue shell, but hold onto it because your friend is in 1st place.
Real best friendship is when you use the blue shell then laugh at them manically whilst they cry is despair.
Real best best super awesome friendship is when you use the blue shell then scream abuse at each other and then vow to enact revenge on each other in the next race.
When men talk of women and girls in terms of legal/not legal, what they’re really saying is “I already sexually objectify this child and would attempt to fuck her if there were no laws in the way.”
You can’t deny that is fucking scary.
Sometimes there are things that just sort of vaguely seem wrong, but you can’t put your finger on why…until it’s worded like this, and suddenly everything slides into place and you feel like someone punched you in the gut.